Maybe Memories
by POPSICLEx3LOVE
Summary: I'm going to save you Peyton. Lucas said making her look at him. I know. Leyton
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! I have been writing this story off and on for awhile, and I finally decided to post it. I know this chapter is short, but I promise that my chapters are long, usually 7-12 pages on Microsoft Word I have quite a bit of it written, at least half, and will be posting whenever I get a chance to type things up. I hope you like it, let me know if you do by reviewing! - - Stephanie.

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Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed. --- Corita Kent

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"Peyton?" Lucas yelled throughout her house.

"Peyton! Are you in here?"

He was at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the level above him. Tables were overturned; pictures were hanging upside down or were broken. It worried him to see her usually clean house this untidy.

"Hello? Peyton?"

He took cautious steps up the stairs. As he got closer to Peyton's room he could tell something had happened. He slowly entered her room and gasped at the sight of it. Her lamps were over-turned and broken, records and papers littered the room. He picked up one of the papers; it was a picture of Peyton. He started picking up the others, and to his surprise they were all different pictures of Peyton. It mad his stomach churn. The bed was a mess too and it had blood on it. Lucas could only hope it wasn't Peyton's.

"Peyton, are you in here?" There was no response.

As he turned to leave her heard as whimpers and spun around, searching for the site of the noise. Peyton was huddled in the corner, naked and blood splattered, crying into her hands.

"Peyton…" Lucas whispered before rushing to her side.

She coiled back from his touch making tears come to his eyes.

"Peyton, it's just me, Lucas. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her body. He pulled her into a hug; she flinched at first, but quickly leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder.  
"Lucas… I tried to fight him, but I… he was too strong, I couldn't get him off of me." Tears came to his eyes at her confession.

"I know, Peyton, I know. It'll be okay. I promise. I'm going to go over there and use my phone. I'll be right back." Lucas went to get up, but Peyton was tugging at his shirt.

"No, please… don't leave me… please."

Lucas leaned back down and softly touched her cheek, "I'm not going to leave you Peyton, I'm just going over there to make a call, I'll be right back, we need to get an ambulance here."

Lucas walked away, towards the window but still kept his eyes on Peyton, who was shivering now. He quickly dialed 911.

"Hello this is Sandra, what is your emergency?"

"Hi, my friend, she was attacked in her home. I need an ambulance."

"Okay, I will send one. Is the attacker still there?"

"No, I don't think so." Lucas said, even though he did not know for sure.

"Okay, an ambulance will be on it's way, along with the police. Stay there."

"Okay," Lucas muttered, then hung up. He went to sit back down next to Peyton. She was still shaking and sobbing.

"Peyton, listen to me okay?" She looked up at his serious tone and nodded. He was about to ask her a question he hoped he'd never had to ask.

"I know that you are scared, but I need to know if he… If he… um did he ra- pe you?" He said, near tears himself. He waited for her response which he hoped was a no, though by the look of her mangled body, he knew it probably was going to be bad. It took Peyton a minute to gain her composure.

She nodded, "Yes" she said before bursting into tears. Lucas sucked in a rapid breath.

He wrapped his arms around her broken body, "It's going to be okay. I promise."

"He was here when I got home. I tried to fight him off, I really did, but he was so strong." Peyton whimpered. It broke his heart to hear her say that.

"It'll be okay. He can't hurt you now." Lucas said.

Hearing the distant sirens he wrapped his arms tighter around her, blaming himself for not getting here sooner to protect her, to save her.


	2. This is My Now

The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment, but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. --- John F. Kennedy.

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As they loaded Peyton into the ambulance, Lucas took out his phone and began dialing the only person he thought of right now.

"Nate. I know it's late, but I really need a favor."

"Sure what's up?" Nathan asked curiously on the other line.

"Don't say anything to Haley, but I need you to meet me at the hospital."

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's a friend and I really don't want Haley or anyone else getting worked up. I'm also not sure if I should tell a bunch of people, just yet."

The medic cut in, "Do you want to come with us?"

"Yes." He hopped in and sat next to Peyton. "Listen just please don't say anything to Haley or anyone. Okay?"

He heard Nathan sigh, "Alright man. I'll be there in a few."

Lucas closed his phone and grab Peyton's hand.

Her eyes opened, "Lucas, please don't call my dad. Please."

"Peyton… I need to."

"Please." She said before closing her eyes once again.

----

"Who was that Nathan?" Haley asked as she walked into the room.

"Oh, uh." Nathan said trying to come up with an excuse. "That was Lucas; he needs me to a favor for him. I need to go."

"Can I come?" Haley asked, excited to hang out with Lucas.

"No Haley, it's going to be a long night and I don't think you'd have much fun. You should stay here and rest, it's already dark. I'll call you later okay?"

Haley nodded and gave him a kiss before he walked out the door.

"You better call me Nathan Scott!" She yelled jokingly as she heard the door shut.

----

"I'm here, so you need to tell me what is going on. Who's in the hospital?" Nathan demanded, walking up to Lucas in the waiting room.

"It's Peyton. You know 'Derek'?" Nathan nodded.

"Well he isn't really her brother. He's been stalking her for sometime now. And tonight, I tried to call her and tell her not to go home, that the police had the wrong guy, but she didn't answer. By the time I got there, it was too late." Lucas said almost in tears.

"What do you mean too late?"

"Well he… he um. She was…" He sputtered out. He just didn't want to say it.

"She was what Lucas?" Nathan demanded, he was getting upset himself, expecting the worst.

"He raped her." He let a gasp. Even though it wasn't the worst, it was as close to it as possible.

Once again Lucas was sharing an eerie silence, but this time with Nathan.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't' know. The doctors haven't said anything. She was conscious when I found her. It was horrible Nathan. She was huddled in the corner naked and bloody. She was crying and she, she couldn't stop shaking."  
Nathan shook his head and sat down, placing his head in his hands.

"I didn't want you to bring Haley because she would get upset and cry, but Peyton really needs us to be strong."

"How was she when you were with her?" Nathan asked.

"She kept sobbing into her hands, and muttering things. But when we got into the ambulance, she was in shock; she hasn't talked much since."

"Maybe you should call her dad."

"She made me promise not to in the ambulance. I don't think she wants him to come home because of this."

"Well we need to call someone. I don't think we can handle this ourselves."

Lucas took out his phone. He knew exactly who he was going to call. It rang several times before he heard a "Hello?"

"Hi mom, I know it's late, but can you come to the hospital?"

"Lucas, what's wrong? Are you okay?" She had a suddenly worried and quivering voice.

"It's not me, it's Peyton. She was… raped."

He heard another sharp intake of breath. "Oh God Lucas, of course I'll be right there."  
"Thanks Mom. I love you."  
"I love you too Luke. I'll be right there. Bye."

He closed his phone and sat down next to Nathan. He let his head fall back on the cushions. He really had no idea what to do. And the fact that the doctors were still with Peyton and hadn't said anything was making him nervous. He let his eyes close, just for a minute, before he slowly fell into a sleep.

"Lucas!" Karen said as she rushed into the ER and seen Lucas and Nathan sitting on a couch.

Lucas jumped awake and stood up realizing his mom was there.

She pulled him into a tight hug, "How is she doing?" She asked as they pulled away.

"We don't know, they doctors are still with her."

"Unfortunately, we'll just have to wait. Hi Nathan." Karen pulled him into a motherly hug too.

"Hi."

All three sat in silence for twenty minutes, not talking, just listening to the noises of the hospital. The waiting room television blared a story about a car accident causing trouble for travelers.

"Peyton Sawyer?" A rather heavy set nurse called into the almost vacant waiting room.

Lucas and Nathan both jumped up.

"Are you here for Peyton Sawyer?"

The both nodded.

"Okay, the doctors are finished. She had to be examined and because of the rape, they did a rape kit. She has a few injuries, but nothing too severe. You can go see her in room 417, but I need these papers filled out first. Just return them to me at the front desk and then you can go visit Ms. Sawyer."

She handed Lucas the clipboard, the walked away."

"Here Lucas, give them to me. I'll fill them out; you go see Peyton." Karen said, taking the clipboard from her son.

"Thanks Mom."

Karen nodded and patted her son on the back before sitting down and reading the paperwork.

----

Lucas walked slowly to her room, afraid to see her. He wasn't sure what to expect.

He found her lying in her bed, facing the opposite wall and curled into a ball, crying. He walked to the side of the bed she was facing and sat down in the chair next to her.

"Peyton, it's me, Lucas." He took her hand in his.

"Hi" She said in a little voice that he wasn't expecting.

"How are you doing Peyt?" At the question, Peyton broke down in tears.

"Oh Peyt, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." He moved to sit next to her on the bed and pulled her into a hug. "It'll be okay, I promise." He whispered into his ear.

----

Nathan walked to Peyton's room, just as slow as Lucas did. There was something weird that made him scared to go in her room. As he walked in he saw Peyton and Lucas talking, and he back out. "Sorry." He said.

"No, Nate. Come in. We're just talking." Nathan nodded and sat down in the chair next to Peyton's bed.

"Hi Peyton."

"You don't have to be awkward Nate. It's okay." Peyton said, grabbing his hand.

He looked up and smile. "Okay."

They talked for several minutes before a doctor walked into the room.

"Hi Peyton, I'm Dr. Johnson. I have some of your test results here. As you know, you have fractured your wrist, you had a minor concussion, you fractured three ribs, and you had a lot of major bruising and cuts. You're testing negative on all STI's and STD's, including AIDS. We are still waiting on the pregnancy test though. Some one will be in here in a few minutes to give you those results. Once that comes back, we will release you. Are your parents here?"

"I-uh." Peyton stuttered.

Lucas stepped in, "Her mom is no longer alive and her dad is on a job right now on the Atlantic Ocean. He won't be back for a few months and we don't have a number to reach him," Lucas lied, "But I called my mom, she has all of Peyton's insurance information."

"Okay, she will be released to her then." The doctor nodded and then excused himself.

Peyton sat there terrified, just realizing that she could be pregnant. None of them had really thought that through, and it sent shivers through all of them.

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"I have the results of your pregnancy test. Here they are you can take a look at any time." She handed Nathan the envelope, "I'll get the doctor to sign your release forms now. Then you will be free to go. No exercise or extensive work for at least a week. You will need a lot of rest, and get the prescription slip that we gave you filled. They may cause drowsiness, so no driving if you have taken one within twelve hours. Once you are dressed, you may leave. I left some hospital sweats over here on the desk. A police officer will probably be visiting your house in the next few days." She smiled at them before leaving.

"Do you wa…" Nathan asked, holding up the envelope.

Peyton shook her head, "I just want to get out of this place."

Nathan nodded and stood up to leave, handing her the sweat off the desk.

"Lucas do you think you could get your mom? I don't think I'll be able to get these on myself."  
"Okay." Luke gave her a hug, while Nathan gave her hand a squeeze.

They both left and not a minute later Karen was walking in. She closed the door behind her.

"How are you doing honey?"

"I've been better."  
"I know, I know." Karen wrapped her arms around the small, fragile girl.

Peyton instantly broke down in her arms. It took her at least fifteen minutes to stop crying, as Karen tried to console her.

"Let's go home, okay?" Peyton nodded.

Karen carefully helped Peyton put on her clothes, but Peyton still cried out in pain quite often.

After getting Peyton's clothes on, Karen went out and got the boys to try to figure out who was going to ride with who.

"Why don't you and Nathan drive home together? You can get there early and take care of the junk I have laying out. And Peyton and I can get her prescription filled, then we'll come home."

The boys nodded and helped Peyton into her wheel chair.

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Nathan and Lucas were driving back to Lucas's house now.

"I'm going to call Haley and let her know that I'm staying at your house tonight."

Lucas looked slightly alarmed, "I don't think Peyt…"

"I won't tell her that, I'll just say that I was helping you with something, but it's going to take all night. Peyton can tell her if she wants."

He took out his phone and pressed one. It only rang once before it was answered, "Nathan?"

"Hi Haley. I just wanted to let you know that I'm staying at Luke's tonight."  
"Okay, is everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm just helping him with something; I'll see you in the morning okay? I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

----

"Luke." Karen called into the house. Lucas came running, "Yeah mom?"

"You and Nate help me get Peyton out of the car, she's asleep."

Luke went and carefully lifted Peyton out of the passenger's seat.

"Be careful Luke, she's had a long, horrible day; you don't want to wake her up."

He carried her into his room and laid her on his bed, not waking her and letting her sleep her tragedy away.

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Next Chapter: Peyton reads the results from the pregnancy test.

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Please review if you liked it! C:

Thanks, Stephanie.


	3. Won't Feel Lost

Hello everyone! I'm sorry it's been so long, but here is the next chapter. Sorry, it's a bit shorter than usual, but hopefully just as pleasurable. I really hope everyone enjoys it and please review if you do. C: steph.

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Thank you to the following for reviewing the last chapter: jamyj30, eerriinn91, baristagrl, voodoochild93, kaligator, joise.

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Note: I realize that you can not find out if you are pregnant that soon after an occurrence; but I needed her to be able to find out that night for writing purposes. Thank you for understanding. C:

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Song recommendation: Tonight by FM-Static

Book recommendation: Second Glance by Jodi Picoult

Quote: There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despaired and recovered hope. --- George Eliot

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Nathan sat next to Peyton as she slept on Lucas' bed, waiting for her to wake up. It was his turn to watch her while Lucas tried to sleep; they had been taking turns since they got home from the hospital, not wanting her to wake up without anyone there to help her. It was noon and Peyton wasn't awake yet, and it was only a matter of time before she would. As if on cue, Peyton slowly opened her eyes. Nate stood up quickly and loomed over her as she blinked several times to clear her eyes and then looked around the room.

"Why am I in Lucas'…?" She trailed off, realization hitting her. Tears quickly flooded in her eyes. Nathan sat down and wrapped his arms around her. She stopped crying a few minutes later and Nathan got up.

"Are you hungry?" He asked hopeful.

She shook her head no, "Where is Lucas?" She asked instead.

"Well we took turns sleeping and watching you. Lucas is sleeping right now, but I should probably wake him up." He said standing up.

"No wait. Let him sleep." Peyton said looking down at her hands, "I'm sure everyone has had a long night. I'm sorry for keeping everyone up."

"Peyton, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault, don't think that okay?" Nathan said gently grabbing her hand.

She nodded before noticing the large envelope sitting on the desk next to her.

Nathan followed her glance, "Do you want to see the results?" Nathan asked cautiously.

"Will you look first? I'm not sure if I want to read them."

He nodded and opened the envelope. His face showed no emotion as his eyes scanned over the page, which made Peyton nervous.

"What does it say Nathan?" She asked impatiently.

Nathan hesitated; he wasn't sure if he was the right person to tell her, or if she should even hear it yet.

"It says that… well it-uh it says that you're – you're pregnant." He didn't dare look her in the eyes yet for fear of seeing her heart break right there. When he finally looked her in the eyes, she looked shocked. Rivers of tears started to cascade down her face and she soon began sobbing.

"No Nathan, please tell me it's wrong. Please, please."

Nathan pulled her into his lap and hugged her tight as she kept sobbing 'no' over and over until she finally fell asleep. Nathan continued to hold her, even after she had fallen asleep. His mind was running a thousand miles a minute with everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.

Lucas walked in the room to see Nathan holding a sleeping Peyton. He dropped the bags of food he had just got from his mom's café.

"How is she?" He asked, coming closer.

"Definitely not any better. Here." He handed Lucas the envelope and Lucas stared at it a minute before opening it. His eyes scanned the page and he felt his heart drop.

"Oh God." He said, sitting down in the chair.

"Yeah, she bawled herself to sleep, and kept asking me to tell her it was wrong. I shouldn't have opened them, but she wanted me to. I knew she wasn't going to be able to handle it if she was, but I didn't think she would be."  
There was silence for a moment, then Nathan motioned for Lucas to follow him out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Is she going to be able to handle this?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know Nate, I really don't. We're just going to have to help her with anything she needs."  
"She's going to need a lot of help." Nathan stated.

Lucas nodded, "Here, I brought these from my mom's café. I knew we would all need something to eat. My mom said she'd be home in a little while, I think Deb was going to cover for her."

They quietly ate for a few minutes before Karen came in.

"How are you boys today?" She asked, kissing Lucas on the forehead and giving Nathan a hug.

"Here," Nathan said, sitting the envelope in front of Karen. She picked them up and quickly read them. Her face turned white and she sat down in the chair as she finished.

"I'm going to the river court." Lucas said, getting up.

"Lucas…" Karen started to say, but he had already closed the door. "How is Peyton?"

"Upset, extremely upset." Nathan said blankly.

"Well if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see Peyton." Karen said, grabbing Nathan and Lucas' empty plates as she got up.

-----

Lucas stood on the free throw line shooting the ball. He had been out there for three hours now, just shooting. He honestly didn't know if he could help Peyton, he could barely help himself get through this. He hadn't had to deal with something this big in a long time.

"What are you still doing here Lucas?"

Lucas shot the ball again, "I can't help her Nate."

"The hell you can't Lucas, she needs you and you're out here playing basketball."

"What do I say to someone who has been through the hell that she has." Lucas said, holding the ball and turning to Nathan.

"Just talk to her like she's Peyton, the fun, quirky, yet sometimes sad Peyton. That's all you can do Lucas, I think you owe her that."

Lucas nodded and threw another shot.

"So are you coming back with me?" Nathan asked.

Lucas began shooting again. "I'll be there in a little while."

Nathan sighed in defeat and walked away.

-----

"Is Lucas here?" Peyton asked.

"Uh no, he's not. He should be home in a little while though. He was here right after you fell asleep earlier and then he left." Nathan said, not looking at her but he grabbed her hand.

"So he knows about… it then?" Peyton said tearfully.

Nathan nodded, "Yes, he does."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I think he's down at the River Court." Nathan said.

Peyton began getting up, "Wait Peyton, where are you going?"  
"Where do you think Nathan, to the River Court. I really need to talk to him." Peyton said, continuing to get up.

"Why don't you just wait for him Peyton, he should be back in a little while." Nathan said, also getting up to help her.

"I'm going Nathan, I need to see him." She began pulling on the closest sweatshirt.

Then she painfully walked out the door.

-----

She could see him shooting the basketball even from where she stood about half a block away. Even though Lucas looked peaceful and serene, she knew he wasn't, he was probably just as troubled as she was at that moment. It was difficult for all of them to process all that had happened in the last twenty four hours, and Lucas was no exception to that.

"Lucas?" Peyton said, walking over the grass to the basketball court.

"Peyton, what… what are you doing here? You shouldn't of…" He said, shocked. He dropped his basketball and reached out for her.  
"I needed to see you." She said, grabbing onto him.

"Peyton…"

"No Lucas, I know that you're freaked out about all that has happened… I am too. Trust me, I'm scared to death. But I hope that you don't get too freaked out that you can't come see me. Sometimes it just gets too much, and this time it's extreme; but I love having you there by me Lucas. I know that you may not be ready to help me, I get that; but I still need a friend. And friends are there even if they don't know what to say. I really don't know if I can do this without you Lucas." She finished with tears in her eyes. She had just spilled her heart out to him, and waiting for his answer was excruciating.

Lucas sighed, "I know Peyton, and I'm sorry, so so sorry. I'm just scared. I've never had to deal with anything like this before. And going to see you was going to make it real… and I just want this to be a dream. I wanted to save you, I have always saved you; but this time I didn't and I'm beating myself up over it. I should have been there Peyton. I should have been there! And now look. Every time I see your face with the cuts and bruises I want to kill Derek, or who ever the hell he is, for doing this to you. I didn't protect you Peyton, I'm supposed to do that for you and I didn't. I'm sorry."

Peyton stood there letting the tears stream down her face. Lucas made a faint attempt at wiping them away, but it was useless; more just came streaming down. "Lucas, I love you for it, but you can't save me every time. Don't beat yourself up for something you can't change."

Lucas nodded and Peyton leaned into his chest, allowing herself to fully cry in front of Lucas.

-----

"What are we going to do Lucas?" Peyton said quietly as they laid together on the blacktopped basketball court.

"I don't know Peyton, but we'll take it one day at a time." Lucas said.

Silence stood between them as the sun went down.

"Your mom is probably worried." Peyton said.

"Yes, she probably is." Lucas stated, but neither of them moved. Together they sat watching the sun go down on the town. After the last light finally went down, Lucas stood up, "Let's get you home, okay?"

-----

Nathan stood on the porch talking on his phone as Lucas and Peyton approached the house. He quickly hung up as he saw the two together.

"Hey, I was just talking to Haley," He said, holding up his phone, "she doesn't really believe that I'm spending this much time with you."

"Go home Nathan, seriously I'll be okay. Go see your wife." Peyton said.

"I can't… you…"

"No Nathan, it's okay." Peyton said, looking over at Lucas, "Lucas is going to take care of me tonight."

Taking the hint, Nathan said "Okay, I'll be by in the morning though. Bye Peyton." He said giving her a hug and kissing her on the cheek.

They watched his retreating figure until his car pulled out of the driveway, then they walked into the house.

"Mom, we're home!" Lucas called.

Karen came hurrying into the room, "Thank goodness, I was starting to worry that something had happened. Are you two hungry? I made spaghetti."

It was almost as if Peyton scurried back within herself, "Um sorry Karen, I'm not really hungry."

"Well you need to eat something honey. Here, I'll get you a plate." She said grabbing Peyton's arm and pulling her into the kitchen and into a chair.

As Lucas got his plate and sat down, Karen sat her plate in front of her.

Instead of eating though, she swirled it around her plate. They ate in silence other than Karen telling Lucas about the café, Peyton didn't listen to much of it but began daydreaming. Flashes of the night before came into her brain and she got up and ran to Lucas' room, shutting the door behind her.

Karen and Lucas stared at the now vacant spot that Peyton had just flew out of.

Lucas sighed, "I'll go talk to her." Lucas said standing up.

As Lucas walked to his room, he imagined all the situations and things to say; but all of them seemed to fly out of his brain as he seen Peyton lying on the bed crying. He quickly sat next to her and drew her to him.

"It's okay. It's okay." He repeated, trying to convince not only Peyton, but also himself that it would in fact be okay.

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Next Chapter: Peyton goes back to school.

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I hope you liked it. Please review if you did.

Thanks C:


	4. Slipped Away

Since I got so many wonderful reviews, I decided to update earlier than I usually do. So here's the next chapter, review if you like and even if you don't. :) Stephanie

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Thanks to: kaligator, alwaysnf0rever, LeytonTilEnd, AngelOfDeath07, lonely girl 23, leytonetreehill, LeytonLover3 for reviewing my last chapter, I really appreciate it guys.

And a special thanks to Simoman for the wonderful comments and encouragement. :)

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Song recommendation: Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliché by Escape the Fate

Book recommendation: The Pact by Jodi Picoult - it's really an amazing book guys! Read it, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

Quote: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. -- E.E. Cummings.

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"You know, you don't have to go back today if you don't want to." Lucas said as he gathered his bag.

Peyton sighed, "I know, but it's been three days, I need to get back. Besides, there isn't much for me to do around here other than sleep and watch movies."

Lucas nodded, "Did you take your prescription today? You may fall asleep during class if you did." Lucas laughed.

"Yes I did, I'd rather fall asleep than be wincing all day long." She pointed out as she hit him with her pillow.

These were the times that he liked. Lucas loved the times that Peyton joked around and was happy, but for some reason this time seemed different. He knew that she wasn't herself lately and that this Peyton that he was seeing right now, was probably fake. She was probably just acting to be okay; but there was no way he would get her to admit that. Lucas really didn't expect her to be goofing around; he would blame her if she didn't come out of her room for a month either. But as he watched her cover her bruises with make-up, he felt his heart twinge again. As much as Peyton told him to stop worrying about not saving her, he couldn't help but not. Ever since her dad had started taking extended trips on the sea, he took over to protect her and help her in any way that he could. And he had failed, well at least according to Lucas. But watching her cover her up her bruises made him want to find Derek and beat the hell out of him.

"Are you ready to go?" Lucas asked grabbing his bag and shaking his thoughts out of his mind.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She said before walking out to Lucas' truck.

The drive seemed to take forever which only made Peyton more nervous.

Lucas grabbed her arm as they walked into the school. "Now if you…" Lucas trailed off, looking at her face; the attempt Peyton had made at covering her bruises had not helped much. "If you want to go home early, just let me know."

"Thanks Luke." She said before walking to her locker.

Suddenly her bubbly brunette friend was next to her, "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in almost a week." She asked almost impatiently.

Peyton closed her locker and turned towards Brooke.

"Who has been using you as their punching bag P. Sawyer?" Brooke joked but Peyton turned stark white. "Get into a fight I didn't know about?"

But Peyton was already fighting against the crowd to get out of the school.

"Peyton!" Brooke called after her, but it was no use. "I'll have to talk to her later." She said as she made her way to first period. Lucas was already there and she sat down in her seat in front of him as the bell rang and everyone came hurrying in so they wouldn't be late.

"Hi Luke."

"Hi."

After their brief conversation Brooke turned back around and stared broadly ahead for a few minutes before Luke tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around to see what he wanted.

"Have you seen Peyton?" Lucas asked, gesturing to the empty seat next to Brooke.

"Yeah but she was leaving. I'm going to have to call her later and see what is going on with her. Oh, have you seen her face? I told her it looked like someone used her for their punching bag."

Lucas groaned as a realization hit him; no one had told Brooke. He sure as hell wasn't going to tell her right now; she would get hysterical in front of everyone.

"You didn't actually tell her that right?" Lucas said.

"Of course I did, I just want to know who she got in a fight with. Ooh! Maybe it was Rachel. I hope Peyton knocked that bitch back to where she belong. And hopefully she had to buy a new nose." Brooke said before turning back around.

Lucas sighed, 'It is definitely going to be a long day. I wonder where Peyton went, Brooke said she was leaving.' Lucas thought as their Current Events teacher came in the room

-----

Peyton ran as fast as she could away from the school. She ran until she thought her lungs would burst; she ran until she thought her heart was going to pound out of her chest or her knees would give out; she ran until she got to the place she had been meaning to visit.

"Hi mom, it's Peyton I just wanted to tell you that I was okay. Lucas has been taking great care of me since Dad has been away. I really miss you though; why'd you have to leave? There are so many things that I need you to be here for and you're not." Peyton said angrily throwing herself on the ground.

"I don't think your mother would have ever left you if she had the power. I'm pretty sure she fought as hard a she could to stay with you. But I know that she is watching you and she can hear you and you really shouldn't lie to her." Whitey said, coming into view.

"Whitey? What are you doing here?"

"I seen you run out of the school and I thought you might have come here."

It was quiet for a few minutes and Whitey didn't push Peyton to say anything; she finally spoke up on her own.

"Whitey, have you ever felt like you're not going to make it through all of this?"

He nodded, "All the time, especially after Camilla died. I really didn't know what I was going to do. But I shut everyone out; didn't let them help me. In the end it only made things worse. I spent too much time worrying over a darn game that took away my time with Camilla. I will never forgive myself for that."

Peyton didn't speak but took in all the words that Whitey spoke.

"Do you know my supposed newfound brother Derek?"

Whitey nodded, "I heard about that; I think it's wonderful that you have family again."

"I thought so too; until he raped me."

"Oh Peyton, is that why you weren't at school. We were all wondering, but we didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that." Whitey said patting her shoulder.

"That's not even the worst of it Whitey; I'm pregnant. I don't know what I'm going to do. It just seems like it'll never end."

Whitey sighed, "I know. But you can't just push Lucas and Nathan away. Let them help otherwise you'll just find yourself in an even deeper hole than you are in now." Peyton nodded.

"Thanks."

"Come and see me anytime. I need to get back though; I have some boys to harass during practice." Peyton laughed.

As Whitey walked away Peyton laid down on her mothers' grave and cried, "Please mom, I need your help."

-----

"Have you seen Peyton?" Lucas asked Nathan during dinner at the café.

"No, I thought you had; that's why I didn't say anything."

"No, Brooke said she seen her before school but she was leaving. I think Brooke might have said something that upset her probably something along the lines of, "You look like someone used you as their punching bag." Oh and I think we forgot about Brooke; no one has told her what happened. She's Peyton's best friend and she deserves to know, but I don't want to be the one to tell her."  
Nathan shook his head, backing away; "Not me either; I don't have the patience to handle Brooke. Maybe we should just let Peyton tell her. I mean, she would have already told her if she wanted her to know, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. But we still have no idea where Peyton is." As Lucas finished his sentence a thought popped into his head.

"I think I have an idea of where she might be, do you want to come?" Nathan nodded and stood up.

They both took off running, Nathan following Lucas until they got to the cemetery.

"What are we doing here Luke?" Nathan asked as they slowed down.

Luke shrugged, "It's just an idea; but Peyton might be by her mom's grave."

Neither of them was sure where Peyton's mom was buried but they looked around for it; and sure enough Nathan found Peyton asleep on her mother's grave.

"Lucas!" Nathan said quietly.

"Looks like she had a rough day." Nathan commented as Lucas came over.

"Yeah. We should probably take her home though."

Nathan reached down and picked her up gently so he wouldn't wake her and walked with Lucas back to his house.

-----

"How did I get here exactly? Last thing I remember is being at the cemetery." Peyton said sitting up.

Nathan smirked, "Lucas had this idea that you might be there, and you were so I carried you home. Rough day?" He asked as Peyton slumped back down on the bed.

Peyton nodded, "I just don't know what I'm going to do Nate. It's just all too much to handle at once."

Nathan grabbed her hand, "Talk to me."

"I'm just not sure whether I want to have a baby at seventeen. I mean this wasn't my choice; this was just kind of pushed onto me, literally. I didn't want this to happen and I definitely didn't plan it. But then again I also think that I should give this baby its life because it was its fault either. It's just hard to decide what to do anymore because it seems as if everything I do or want to do is wrong. People aren't going to know about the rape; they are just going to think I'm easy. I don't want people to look at me like that and no offense to Karen but look at how they look at her. I don't know if I can handle that. I just hate Derek so much for doing this to me."

Nathan nodded, "I know it all seems hard right now Peyton; but you'll figure it all out when you need to. If you just keep thinking about it you're just going to make yourself more confused. What ever you decide we will all stand by you. And trust me; given the chance Derek would be dead in a minute."

Peyton nodded, "Can I just be alone Nathan?"

"Of course, but Lucas really wanted to see you when you woke up. Just for a minute?" Nathan suggested.

"Okay."

Nathan went in the hall to talk to Lucas, "She's not doing so well; she wants to be alone but I told her you wanted to see her for a minute."

Luke nodded and headed into his room.

"Hi." He said quietly at first. "How are you?"

Peyton shrugged, "Alright I guess."

"Want to talk about it?" Lucas hoped.

"No, I just need to think." Peyton sighed.

"Well let me know if you do, okay?" He said and she nodded.

He leaned over her to kiss her forehead and he moved the hair off her face. Flashes of the night passed over her eyes and she started screaming, "Don't, please don't hurt me."

Lucas gently shook her shoulders, shocked. "Peyton, I'm not going to hurt you. It's Luke. Peyton!"

But she wasn't listening, and she kept crying and crying out. Nathan came running into the room, "What the hell happened Luke?"

"She thinks I'm Derek. Peyton, Peyton; look at me. I'm Lucas not Derek. He won't hurt you; he can't. I won't let him hurt you again." He said pulling her into a hug as she cried.

"It's okay. He won't hurt you. I promise. It's okay." He kept repeating until she finally fell asleep.

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Next Chapter: Harsh realities hit everyone.

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Please review if you liked; or even if you didn't. I like constructive criticism.

:) Stephanie.


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